The first few weeks as an au pair can feel like a dream. Everything is new, exciting, and full of possibilities — a true honeymoon phase. You’re bonding with the kids, exploring a new city, and forming a connection with your host family. But eventually, that shiny feeling fades — and real life begins.

What Happens When the Honeymoon Phase Ends?

For many au pairs, this transition comes as a surprise. Suddenly, things that once felt charming start to feel frustrating. Communication with your host family may not be as smooth as you’d hoped. Homesickness starts to creep in. Cultural differences, once fascinating, can now lead to misunderstandings or awkward moments. And the day-to-day responsibilities of childcare — the routines, tantrums, and energy — can feel overwhelming.

I experienced all of this. I remember wondering if I was doing something wrong or if I had made the wrong decision. But the truth is, this phase is a normal and necessary part of the au pair journey.

How I Navigated the Shift

What helped me most was open communication. I started having honest conversations with my host family about expectations, boundaries, and how I was feeling. Most of the time, they were more understanding than I expected.

I also leaned heavily on my support network — other au pairs on platforms like auost, online communities, and friends from back home. Just knowing I wasn’t alone made a huge difference.

Embracing the Real Experience

The end of the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean the end of joy — it’s the beginning of something deeper. You start to build real connections, gain emotional resilience, and truly grow as a person.

So if you’re struggling after those first few weeks, take heart: you’re not alone, and this is where the real adventure begins.

Join auost — and connect with a community that supports you through every stage of the journey.