1. 🕰️ What does a typical weekday look like in your family?

Follow-up:
• Who is usually at home during the day?
• Are your work hours fairly regular or do they often change?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Both parents are rarely home, no clear structure.

• One parent is always away; the other is also unavailable.

• Au pair expected to handle everything alone.

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2. 💬 How do you usually give feedback if something needs to change or improve?

Follow-up:
• How often do you check in with your au pair?
• Can you give an example of how you handled a misunderstanding?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Overly direct without empathy or support.

• Criticism sounds harsh or constant.

• Past au pairs labeled “not a fit” without reasons.

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3. 👩‍👧‍👦 What did you appreciate most about your previous au pair(s)?

Follow-up:
• What kind of personality worked well in your home?
• Were there any challenges, and how did you solve them?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Past au pairs talked about negatively or dismissed.

• Focus only on chores, not on relationships.

• No sign of reflection or flexibility.

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4. 🧼 What’s your approach to light housework and tidiness?

Follow-up:
• Which tasks are part of the au pair’s role?
• Do you use a schedule or written list?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Deep cleaning expected daily.

• “Treat it like your own home” with no boundaries.

• Criticism of previous au pairs for being too relaxed.

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5. 🛏️ How do you handle weekends or evenings — will I usually have that time off?

Follow-up:
• Are there specific days I’m expected to work?
• Do last-minute needs often come up?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Frequent or regular evening/weekend duties.

• No fixed schedule or predictable time off.

• Expectation of being “flexible” constantly.

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6. 🏖️ What are your expectations when school is closed (holidays, summer)?

Follow-up:
• Do the children attend camps or travel with you?
• Will the schedule change when school is out?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Long days without backup or breaks.

• No mention of adjusting hours or offering time off.

• Holidays = full-time nannying.

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7. 🗣️ How does your family handle disagreements or stressful times?

Follow-up:
• What’s your approach when there’s conflict?
• Do you talk things through as a family?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Jokes like “we yell and move on.”

• No conflict resolution strategy.

• Frequent blame or emotional tension.

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8. 🚸 If something goes wrong — a child is upset or something breaks — how do you respond?

Follow-up:
• What would you expect me to do in the moment?
• Would you like to be informed right away?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Expecting perfection or no mistakes.

• Focus on discipline, not learning.

• No empathy or emotional support offered.

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9. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 How do you see the role of the au pair in your home?

Follow-up:
• More like a family member or like a helper?
• What do you hope I’ll gain from this experience?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Described as “staff” or “just help.”

• No mention of cultural exchange.

• Role is unclear or unrealistic.

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10. 🔄 Is there anything you would have wanted past au pairs to do differently?

Follow-up:
• What could have helped things go more smoothly?
• Have your expectations changed over time?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Repeated problems with au pairs, no learning.

• All blame on the au pair.

• No examples of what worked well.

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11. 🛌 Could you describe the living space I’d have?

Follow-up:
• Would I have my own room and bathroom?
• Is the room furnished and quiet?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Shared space with kids or others.

• No privacy or space to relax.

• “We’ll figure it out” = vague setup.

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12. 🚪How do you feel about the au pair spending time outside the home?

Follow-up:
• Can I go out in the evenings during my time off?
• Would short trips or weekends away be okay?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Controlling attitude about your free time.

• Expectation to be home “just in case.”

• Rules unclear or overly strict.

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13. 👫 What activities or playdates do your children usually have?

Follow-up:
• Will I manage transport or supervision?
• Are playdates frequent in the afternoons?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Packed calendar of kids’ activities managed by you.

• No breaks between school and evening duties.

• No boundaries around your off-time.

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14. 📆 What would a typical weekly schedule look like for me?

Follow-up:
• Are working hours clustered or spread out?
• Is there enough time off during regular social hours?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Split shifts across full days.

• No consistent blocks of personal time.

• Lots of ad-hoc demands without compensation.

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15. 🍽️ What are your expectations regarding light household tasks?

Follow-up:
• Do you expect me to cook full meals regularly?
• Would I be doing family laundry or heavy cleaning?

🚩 Red Flags:

• Tasks go beyond childcare and basic tidying.

• “Light” means deep cleaning or daily cooking.

• No cleaner and everything falls on the au pair.