When people talk about being an au pair, they often focus on the visible tasks: feeding kids, school runs, bath time, bedtime. But one of the most important — and often invisible — aspects of this job is emotional labor.

The Hidden Work Behind the Smiles

Every single day, I do more than just care for children — I support their emotional world. I’m the one they run to when they’ve had a bad dream, a fight with their sibling, or a meltdown after school. I listen, I soothe, I comfort, and I try to understand what they need — even when they can’t say it out loud.

But emotional labor doesn’t stop with the kids. Sometimes, I help bridge communication between parents and children, or support a parent who’s having a tough day. And on top of all that, I manage my own emotions — culture shock, homesickness, or just the weight of a long day.

The Need for Empathy and Boundaries

Being emotionally present requires empathy, patience, and resilience. It’s beautiful, but it can be draining. That’s why I’ve learned how important it is to set boundaries and make time for myself.

Whether it’s a quiet walk, journaling, video calls with friends, or just saying “no” when I’m stretched too thin — these little acts of self-care help me recharge. I’ve also started having honest conversations with my host family about my emotional workload, which has helped us all understand each other better.

Your Emotional Labor Matters

Recognizing emotional labor as a real part of the au pair experience has changed how I see my role — and how I advocate for myself.

If you’re an au pair, remember: the emotional support you provide is valuable. You are not “just” helping — you’re nurturing, balancing, and often healing. That deserves recognition.

With auost, you’re not alone. Find connection, support, and resources for the whole you — not just the caregiver.